Paper Inches away from the Shredder


Oh finally! After hours of being moved around I’ve finally settled down and been given rest, that too on a very uncomfortable incline.

It’s all so hypocritical isn’t it? I mean they carry us around all day but these humans almost all the time sit on their chairs, in their cars, in their toilets, on their butts, but hey, you get the point. And they sleep on flat beds too, not inclined beds.

Wait, wait a second guys. Give me a second. I think my friend Sull here is going somehwehre. Hey Sull, what the hell man? Where are you going? What, what, stop screaming you glossu paper with multi coloured ink. Speak, speak calmly. Hey, there’s no need to abuse man come on.

Wait what? You’re being shredded? Into fine lines? What what? You’re being killed? What, what, what why? Because youre not needed. What the hell man. Paper is always needed. You ever see how much these munchuks use all the time. And at times both sides. I get confused which is my front side anymore.

Hey what? It’s important. It gets tough to decide which side to show to the ladies. I don’t want to send the wronf message to them.

Well yeah, im sorry man. I’ll tell your wife and kids. What do you mean I wont be able to? I’m not going to be killed next. I’ll tell them just fine. Bye Sull, I’ll miss you old friend.

Man, we were in that folder for so long together. He felt like family. I’ll miss that overpriced glossy sheet.

Wait, wait ,what, what’s happening? What’s going on? Why am I moving? Hey whaaa, what. My feet, my feeeeetttt!! Oh the horror. Theyre being shredded into such perfectly spaced lines. Damn this intense mechanised precision. And oh wait the burning also. Hey, hey come on guys. We’re upto my waist here. Come on, I’m expensive photographic paper man come on. Guys guys come on, we’re almost at my neck, I’m drowning here. Havent you ever heard of life after printing?

This is one of my first forays into writing something remotely funny or comic. I’ve been wanting to write to this for over a year now but never could get into the feel for it. Do sound off in the comments how you found it! Thank You!


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