I go to seek a Great Perhaps

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“I go to seek a Great Perhaps”. There are the last words of a French poet, Frank Rabelais. There words are quoted by Miles Halter in “Looking for Alaska”; in two readings of the book, they have assumed massive importance.
At the beginning of the book, Miles is bored of his life in Florida and aims to go seek a Great Perhaps, a place where he will have adventures and enjoy his life more than he presently is. In all honesty, isn’t that what all of us are searching for in our lives? A grand adventure, where we have great fun and find ourselves.
For me, the Great Perhaps has been college. It has been my greatest adventure, the grandest roller coaster I have been in yet. It’s gone up, it’s gone down, but it’s always been moving; never stopping. That’s how adventures should be, shouldn’t they? Always in motion; never stopping, even for a second. And alas it’s coming to an end too soon after four years. I can silk, or cry or laugh, but at the end, I must accept it. Everything that has a beginning must have an end.
I’ve don’t it all here, coming in from my previous Great Perhaps, School. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time here, and done the craziest of things, some of which are: Making jokes the entire class because I couldn’t write down anything because I had a plaster, Leaving college at 10:40PM after entering at 7:00AM, jumping around in the college all the time, sleeping in classes because I had gone for a morning walk, proposing to my girlfriend in Sri Ram Centre, arguably the best place to do such a thing, putting in four glorious years in Dhwani, organising a Street Play competition with the team and performing at numerous competitions, randomly walking in the streets all the time till late in the night, selling people everything from soaps and shampoos to T-Shirts and sweatshirts, and so many more moments which make life worth living and remembering. I have a tough time recalling everything, because I don’t want to flood this article and because I can’t explain without my voice and my body movement how much many of the little moments shaped me and how thoroughly I’ve enjoyed them and will remember them. I found out who I was, to an extent, and became, maybe, a better person. It’s just like any great adventure should be; memorable, exhilarating, and worthwhile. I wouldn’t change a thing in it; even if I had the opportunity to.
It has prepares me for my next Great Perhaps, leaving college and going out into the world; with all the memories and friends I’ve gained.
It’s not so much the Great Perhaps without you putting your heart and soul into it. Without taking risks and chances; doing what your heart tells you to; without all these little little moments which constitute a great adventure, it is just a Perhaps. Perhaps: The place where there could’ve been fun and adventures. The Great Perhaps is the place we all want to be in, the Perhaps is where most of us find ourselves daily.
Stepping into college, I never thought it would be my Great Perhaps. It all just happened. Al the craziness, all the fun, all the friends, all the fests, all the excitement, all the things which took place. It never occurred what would happen if I did any of these things. Would it add to my CV? Would I be happy doing all this? Would I love doing it? We all just did it because we wanted to. We never cared about the outcome. We just threw ourselves into it. Just like every film, TV, book or video game character dos. Head first, without a care in the world, but with the undying confidence that we will handle all problems life throws out way. We jumped into the water first, then thought what he would do.
I guess this it now. The Great Perhaps is slowly coming to an end. I don’t know what to make of it, how to feel. I guess I’ll know when the time comes. We learn how we deal with some things when they come to us.
So, everyone, go out and seek your Great Perhaps and do whatever you want. Live your life as you see fit. Every place in these years of college is an opportunity. No Photography society in the college? Start one. Want to skip a few classes and watch a movie? Do it. Want to have a great fest? Go organise it. Just do it. Do it with all your heart and don’t care what happens. Be the hero you adore in films and TV and books and video games. Be you.
As I leave college, my last words for all of you are this:
“College has all but ended for me. So now I go seek a Great Perhaps. A new one.”


Ah yes, the last article I’ve ever written for college. This was my goodbye, my letter to the students in the college to cherish this place, and learn from its ample opportunities, rather than focusing and berating it for what it doesn’t have. This was my last advice to everyone there, for college and beyond, to live life like they want. Life needs to be big, not long.

End of Internals, exams, and College

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The dreaded internals I talked about are over. So are my semester 8 exams, and with them, so is college. Yeah, college is over. Still hasn’t hit me, but it is over. Now that it is, I’m spending my time doing the three things which I’ve discovered I have the utmost passion for: Gaming, writing, food and talking, in that order, except talking. Talking assumes different positions depending on my mood.
I’ve planned to hang around before I apply for a job and explore. I’ll be taking a few trips in the coming months, one is already planned for London with my family, and maybe a couple more with my friends. I’ll game a lot, which I didn’t do much of in college for some unknown reason, and write.
A lot of my issues with writing, I’ll try to settle them out now; how I will proceed with my writing, restarting work on my novel, and exploring other options for novels which I put down when I stopped writing back in 2013.
And finally, food. The love of my life and the only reason why I explore new places. The only reason I said yes for London was because of the food (and shopping). Food has led me to new places, new people and amazing moments; most of which can never be predicted or even thought of.
In my absence from the blog, I managed to write a plethora of articles, one new Movie To Watch (Silver Linings Playbook, which Ill be posting right after this), a new Movie Review, three-four new stories, including a new Chats series.
The blog will see a dip in Book Recommendations. This is because since the past four months, books have stopped captivating me and I’ve become bored of reading books. I just pick up a book, read five pages, become extremely bored and then stop. Instead, for the past two days, I’ve started reading stories on Reddit/NoSleep. It’s great fun, and I love the stories the people post there. Absolutely incredible and imaginative, and tense. I enjoy reading NoSleep more then books now.
I guess that about sums up the things which have been going on in my life.
Thank you all for your support for the blog, when I have posted every week, and when like the previous two months, rarely. And when I stopped blogging, 2013-May 2016, with rare occurences. It feels good to be unable to post but still see that people are reading what I have to give, liking it and dissenting on it. Thank you.
Here is to new beginnings and to exploring life ahead and around!

PS-The Sidebars aren’t complete yet, so please don’t pay much attention to that.

Chats- The one at the funeral

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“I guess it’s my turn to speak now. It’s, it’s a huge honor I was asked to eulogize him. Even when going away, he have me the gift of telling me that I was one of his favourite people. Otherwise he would have never asked me to eulogize him.” *Wipes a tear from his eye*
“It is extremely weird to be talking about him, rather than with him. All of us sitting here have heard him talk and talk till litres of water were extinguished by him. We’ve all had one of the best conversations of our lives with him.” *Smiles*
“He loved to talk. There will never be any contest in that.”*Everybody laughs* “In those talks, in those words, more often than not, he gave us all wisdom; some knowledge about the world and how to live better in it. *Takes a long pause*
“I remember this one time we talked about life. We were talking about how so many fear they didn’t take in enough from the world. The greedy, who just kept on taking and taking. No boundaries. All the way till the horizon and beyond.” *Pauses and smiles*
“He said to me they’re all stupid. Idiots who didn’t understand life. I asked him and he said, Life: It’s not what you take, it’s what you give. I couldn’t decipher what he had said. I didn’t understand his words and he just sat there with his smug smile. That classic smirk and posture. Leaning on his left at the sofa, that smile, which told you he knew the answer while you were floundering for it. All of us here will undoubtedly know that posture.”
*Everyone in the audience chuckles*
“So, he tells me to answer. And no matter how smart he was, he was always kind. He never belittled anybody who didn’t know the answer. He gave you freedom and shared the answer with you. I told him my answer: We all remember that story. No matter how much we earn, none of it goes with us. It stays behind. So maybe, it’s related to that.” *Smiles again*
“He comes forward and says, “Partially”. And then he goes on with his answer. I’m paraphrasing, so please bear with me.” *Clears Throat*
“If you keep on taking love from people, or their time, they won’t remember you. You will just be another person who took from them. But when you give people your love, your time, your words, your sorrows, and your happiness; when you make memories with them, they remember you. They talk about you. So, at the end, you’re not remembered for the amount of money you made, or how much the world knew you or about you. You’re remembered by people for what you gave of yourself to them. Life: It’s not what you take, it’s what you give.”
*Smiles and shakes head*
“He gave us all so much. All of us sitting here, he gave us so much of his time, his words, through which he gave us his love. That’s why there are so many of us here.”
*Let’s out a tear*
“He gave so much to so many.
*Turns towards the coffin*
“I love you man. I really do. Thank you for all our chats and your words. They will be cherished, always. Thank you.”


 

Stress is bad for writing

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Ever since I’ve started writing, I’ve always been particularly fascinated by one particular habit. Why is it that I am only able to write at certain times? Why is it, that some of my best writing come either in this night, when everyone is asleep and there seems to be no other life around for miles, or early in the morning, after I’ve woken up and accepted my quota of sleep? I’ve always been bogged down by this and forced myself to write at times when I usually wouldn’t write, such as the evening, noon, lunch time, dinner. Basically, anytime between early morning end (say noon) and 10:30 at night.

It’s not that I wouldn’t write, but it was usually too little success. I would try to write, but get disturbed by one event or the other. The event could be external, such as a form to fill, or a phone call from a friend, or my mom telling me to do a chore. At times it would be internal, such as stressing out over small facts. Such as being too tired, or thinking too much about my future, or stressing what a teacher would think of me for missing class. Both these types of events cause stress. This feeling in the back of your head that says, “You must do this first” or “You shouldn’t be writing now” or “I should have attended my class”. And once a though like that has set in my mind, I can’t focus. There would be something or the other running through my mind and I would spend time thinking about it rather than thinking about what to write.

That is not cool. This is precisely what is missing from me when I write early in the morning or deep in the night. I have no stress. I still have these little things to worry about, and either I’m thinking, “It’s the early morning, I have the whole day” or “It’s the night. I’ll just do it tomorrow”. Basically, external events fall to almost zero and the internal events I start rationalising as not mattering at the current moment. And that’s when I write like crazy. I just keep on writing and writing and writing for two to three hours before I either get on with the day or get on with some sleep.

So basically what I’m trying to say is, that whenever you start writing, try to be stress free. And realise yourself. That is a very important aspect for writing as well. Realise yourself and see what you’re good at, to appreciate the good little moments that took place in the day, the things that excite you. Appreciate what doesn’t make you feel good, what makes you stress or uncomfortable and change it or embrace it. But try to reduce the number of things that make you stress. Even if trying to reduce the things that make you stress decrease your writing time by a little bit. It’ll feel better, and you’ll soon get over it.

Uninspired

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You were left hollow,
Empty like a vacuum.
You became dense, numb
To all external stimuli.

There was the time,
When you used to touch the sky,
You stood for something.
Yet now,
You are but a shard,
A fragment of your long lost glory.
Broken down, crushed
Left to nothing but a
Crack in the glass.

I was there,
Right next to you,
Feeling powerless at what happened,
At what she did to you.

I could not find the
Fragments that had been lost,
Nor could I heal the
Crack you had become.

I cannot save you
From what you are becoming,
Neither can I save myself
As you make me feel uninspired.

She has left us all,
Yet she still survives,
In you,
In your mind.

In a labyrinth,
Where she holds you captive.
Your mind a prisoner of
Its own creation,
Needing to be rescued,
From your uninspired love.
And when life will
Once again overflow the vacuum,
We will rise.